23 4 / 2014
Anonymous asked: Burt catching Blaine buying condoms and lube please!
Kurt had certain expectations that afternoon. One, that his dad would be at the shop and the house would be empty; two, that he would get to have sex with his boyfriend; and three, that his boyfriend would remember to stop at the drugstore and by lube and condoms on the way over because they were nearly out of both and Kurt had to be at home right at 3 so that Carole could take Kurt’s car to work that night since hers was in the shop. The shop his dad was supposed to be at.
The shop he was sure his dad was at, until the front door opened without someone knocking first and suddenly his dad was hollering out his name.
"Dad?" Kurt said, running down to the first floor from the bedroom he’d been preparing. "What’s wrong?"
"Nothing," Burt said, moving into the kitchen. "Just thought I’d come home for lunch."
"At 4pm?" Kurt said, crossing his arms. Burt shrugged. "Dad."
"Sometimes a guy gets hungry," Burt said. "Sometimes a guy also has to go to the drugstore to pick up his prescriptions while he’s on break."
"Okay," Kurt said, frowning at his dad’s weirdness. Burt sighed.
"I take it I beat him here," Burt said. Kurt suddenly cottoned on.
"Oh, no," Kurt said.
"Oh, yes," Burt replied. Kurt threw his hands up in the air.
"How does this keep happening?" Kurt said. Burt shook his head.
"I’m not any happier about it than you are," Burt replied. "Believe me."
A knock sounded on the door just then, and Kurt left the kitchen to go answer it. A very chagrined Blaine stood behind the door.
"Hey," Blaine said.
"What happened?" Kurt asked, crossing his arms. "We talked about this, Blaine, we had a back up plan. You were supposed to say that you were buying tampons for your mom to scare him away."
"I know!" Blaine said. "I don’t know, I just—"
"I didn’t even have to ask him this time," Burt hollered from the kitchen. "He just told me."
"It’s your dad!" Blaine said. "I can’t lie to your dad."
"You are off condom buying duty for good," Kurt replied. Blaine nodded. "I hope you at least brought ice cream."
"I did," Blaine replied, holding up his bag. "And chocolate sauce."
"You may enter," Kurt replied. "Let’s go watch a PG film with my dad."